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[dec 2nd, 2009 >>3:28pm] |
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work was super busy today, but i brought in a tape player to jam some tunes which made it better. im sooo sleepy though. im going to give my dog a walk then nap. Its so nice out though..oh well, im so tired. lets rage tonight, no school or work til mondayyyyyyy
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| someone to close his heart |
[nov 30th, 2009 >>7:42pm] |
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bob dylan |
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hello friends and ljland.
well let's see.
today i've been really REALLY stressed to say the least. the end of the semester is approaching and i'm glad/stressed about that.
i have finals coming up and i have a million essays to write. it's rather irritating to say the least.
also, i've recently started a diet with the help of chad. over the holidays my family made some rather euphemistic comments about my weight...
they're all well aware of my former anorexic self. it's not really former. to be honest, once you're anorexic, it never really goes away. the tendencies remain and eat at you if you let them.
granted, i've kind of not paid attention to them for some time, but that has resulted in my excessive weight gain...
every time i get on a diet, i basically end up eating little to nothing because my anorexic side takes over and makes me sick and junk.
chad is helping me with this. i'm glad to have someone whom kind of understands and helps me with this issue.
we've basically come to a diet we can both agree on. i'm starting to work out daily and i'm only eating 1700-2000 calories a day. i have no idea how much i was eating before then, but i know i was eating a lot more than that.
i'm not trying to get really skinny or even close to that. i just want to be averageish. i'm not looking to be a twig... i like being chubby. it's better than being cold all the fucking time.
anyway, i've been drinking coffee all day. i swear i'm going to have a caffeine overdose. i'm trying to kind of fill in the calories that are going to be left over. i've had about 1470 calories today. i'm saving the rest for dinner, which i have yet to decide what it's going to be.
on top of all this dieting business, my stomach has been hurting like fucking hell lately. i have no idea why...
i think it's my mind/anorexic tendencies convincing me that when i eat i'll get sick... i try not to blow the numbers out of proportion, but i always have to make sure i consult chad when i add the calories... i always think i've eaten more than i have or something is worth more than it is...
i'm sorry, i have nothing interesting to talk about. i might be mentioning my weight issues pretty often now that i'm on a diet. as i mentioned before, the anorexic tendencies come full force when i diet, and it's somewhat better to write about it somewhere than let it fester. this way it kind of helps me stay in tune with reality and how much i am eating and stuff.
i love you all.
i'm off to start cooking up dinner and working on some of the work i have due soon.
take care everyone.
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[nov 30th, 2009 >>7:24am] |
fast forward to a minute to see me punching mitch in the face...haahahaha
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| life would be a party it'd be ecstasy. |
[nov 29th, 2009 >>12:23pm] |
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adam lambert |
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hello ljfriends and ljland =D!
i've returned after embarking on the long journey to my hometown (laredo, texas). i returned yesterday around 4, but i was so tired i couldn't bring myself to write.
sorry for lack of updating, i wasn't exactly near a computer the majority of the time and didn't get a chance to read anyone's journals, or if i did i didn't comment. sorry for that my lovelies :).
anyway, i had a fantastic time with my family and friends :).
it was a nice time to just breathe and get some of my thoughts in some kind of order. i've been dying from stress and just school in general. i honestly can't wait until this semester is over.
i really did miss chad though... i hate that we're not attached at the hip, but at the same time i feel so icky when he's not around me.
oh well, when he got home from work last night we hugged and kissed and almost fell in the living room lol.
it was good sleeping and cuddling in a bed with someone, i hate how lonely it is when i sleep alone now.
today, i have a fuckload of homework that i should probably get on to doing. i'm just being a procrastinating cunt and not working on it as usual hah.
anyway, how is everyone else doing? tell me about your holidays (those that are american at least). i forget that most europeans don't celebrate thanksgiving lol.
love you all.
*hugs*
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[nov 26th, 2009 >>6:30pm] |
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Highlights of the past week:
Portland
-Stefan getting naked and making some weird hipster so uncomfortable that he had to leave.
-Purple Monster
-Petunia
-Mitch and Mariah making out(HARD LOL)
-PARTY IN THE USA
-"There's people in here dry humping! QUIT DRY HUMPING! I don't want to hear you talk about buttholes!"(Some drunk guy shouting at everyone upstairs).
Olympia
-Chloe coming down for a night!
-Dressing up in work out clothes
-Seeing Blakeley!
-Heather Peek.
-Thanksgiving, My cousins quoting every movie ever made.
-My Aunt's dog. So cute!
Saving the best thing for last
MORRISSEY TICKET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<3<3<3<3<3
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[nov 25th, 2009 >>8:57am] |
I woke up way to early..I dont have to be to work until 11. I guess ill just take a nice long shower and get coffee or something. Ive been trying to stick around work longer so I can get more hours. i barley work at all when I think about it. only 3 hours for 3 days a week. This motorcycle is going to take forever to get at this rate..haha.
i also found out tony wolf will be attending slayer/megadeth/testament so at least ill know someone there. Im sure there will be more people i know, hopefully. and i think heather and her mom might go. we'll see.
( portland )
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| yes i'm guilty of this you should know this. |
[nov 22nd, 2009 >>8:36pm] |
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tegan and sara |
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sorry for lack of updating once again.
friday i had two exams and i totally murdered them. seriously i'm sure i got a perfect score on the first one and i'm sure i got at least a B or high C on the second one. which is fine considering my average in my western lit course is quite high :).
it was chad and me's 10 month anniversary on friday :). i cannot believe we've been together that long to be honest it's funny. most people assumed we'd be at each other's throats because we moved in so early in our relationship.
now, i'm very not traditional in almost every way. i just don't understand this, "YOU SHOULD WAIT YEARS BEFORE YOU MOVE IN WITH SOMEONE." it just doesn't flow with me. to me, when you live with someone, you truly get to know who they are in every way possible. people are different from how they live and when they meet you for a date and stuff.
so anyway, we had a nice little dinner at home after he came back from work. i made asian chicken stir fry; complete with, chicken of course, veggies, rice and homemade sauces :).
it came out amazing. if there are two things i'm not ashamed of admitting are my skills in the kitchen and the bedroom :p. oh my i got a bit pervy there.
anywho, we enjoyed dinner and watched the film "Pi". chad had never seen it before so i felt he needed to see it.
after that we did some rather unmentionable things... so yeah...
ahem, we took a shower and proceeded to cuddle and sleep :).
t'was a great anniversary.
so now, yesterday.
chad and i were planning on going out of town to see a movie or something because the movie theater here is ridiculously small and shows shitty movies. but, there were no movies that caught our eyes. so we just decided to spend the day in. it was cold and rainy and stuff so we figured we'd go out later for coffee.
my lesbian friend amy joined us and we discussed many things from STDS to my fucked up neighbor christie, whom is always drunk and claws at my door requesting food and calling me ricky in the process.
that is another story i'll have to tell you guys at another time.
anyway, we decided to come back to my apartment even though i was reluctant because i felt the apartment was a huge mess...
of course it isn't, i'm just an anal clean freak... i can't help myself.
anyway, we sat down and watched "Religulous" which i had already seen and recommend that EVERYONE see it. it's basically a lovely film that disputes the 3 major religions in the world as being ridiculous and just in general dumb.
but it's done in a tasteful way.
after that, we took amy home and returned to our flat and cuddled and slumbered :).
today, i've been doing a little cleaning here and there.
trying to get the apartment in decent order before i take off home wednesday.
tomorrow i have an exam, so i best get on that and tomorrow i have a million things to do.
i'm going to wash clothes, clean mocha's cage and get a paper done for my creative writing course.
that is all :).
i will update more later.
love you darlings :).
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